


The Ghost, Perfected.

by Savathun



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Lives, Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Ben Hargreeves' Tentacles | Bentacles, Ben Sometimes Forgets He's Alive, Dark Ben Hargreeves, Gentle Kissing, Implied Self-Harm, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Mild Gore, Non-Linear Narrative, Out of Character, Pseudo-Incest, Rating May Change, Secret Relationship, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Incest, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Telepathic Ben Hargreeves, Temporary Character Death, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25192450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savathun/pseuds/Savathun
Summary: Five brought them all back alive.All of them.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 11
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> New to this fandom/ writing so everything will most likely be out of character.
> 
> -Sibling incest is not my thing but fuck it it'll be a laugh to write.  
> -They are 16/17 after time jump but that's underage for Americans so don't get mad at me  
> -Wrote this on phone so spelling mistakes and maybe a few nit-picks in the writing sorry  
> -This is just a 'test the waters' chapter so please feel free to leave me comments or just to yell at me.

Death is both natural and unnatural, a bridge built by both hands of the entity who goes feared for something they can't stop. understand the poor souls whose lives have been dealt the card of their fear. death is fear, fear is death and yet it cannot be missed, it creeps everywhere and we have nothing more to do than allow it. allow its claws to take us to a place of paradise to rest once more upon the beaches and the trees that stand tall in the corrupted sky. trust

Ben however never took deaths hand, he walked with it to the point where that oh so beautiful bright light was almost a blanket his mother would wrap him up in after a mission or a horrible nightmare but he couldn't accept the light when he had made others walk towards the light before their time. the dripping blood from his hand is a message of both his death and the blood of others he had showered in. trust

His death was something he would never speak about even if Vanya had put his death into words or a lack of but it was still in her book, a horrible reminder that he can no longer breathe, no longer sleep, no longer eat and no longer enjoy the wind on his face when he walks through this shitty city. death watches until it can no longer help his soul, death has no grudges to those who wish to stay and view the world from dead eyes. Ben stays quiet after his death, he doesn't tether himself to Klaus. he sits in the dark corners of the city, hand red with blood, eyes tearful and mind filled with so much anger, anger at everything and nothing.

People walk by him, walk through him and it angers him, he wishes he could touch, wishes he could throw something at anyone, he wants to scream so loud that the city comes running to his help but instead he sits on the dirty ground and stares at nothing, he can't cry and it infuriates him. hands still shaking with the aftermath of death, blood pooling at his feet and he wants to sink into it. drown himself in his own blood to the pits of hell, commit a sin in death to be dragged from the life he wishes he still had. Instead all he does is look up to the sky, the stars are bright, the moon is alive and smiling at him, a sight he wants to touch, to reach up and hold the moon in his hands and marvel at her beauty.

he stares and stares until a cloud breaks the tension between beauty and death, so he hangs his head in pity for some more until he stands when the wailing of the dead begin to grab at his arms and ask to him to join them in the flames of agony, Ben was never one for anger, for rage or for pure fury, he was just a kid who wanted to see the world, yet what he got was eldritch creatures inside of his own stomach, can't exactly sunbathe on the beaches with them hanging out. 

the breeze he can tell is soft by the way old newspapers float on by him and the slight up skirting of women's dresses and skirts as they walk past the alleyway he begins to leave, life is so, so pure in the way everyone takes it for granted, or takes it way too seriously to enjoy the small things, to enjoy the hangover everyone hates getting, or getting a spontaneous idea to go on a road-trip with their friends, even a McDonalds at 3am is something that is worth doing. Life has no reason until you give it a reason, and what Ben would do to get that back, to get his heart racing again, to relive the memories of him and Allison sneaking out in the middle of the night to sit in the hill to talk, or to go skateboarding with Diego again even if it wasn't Diego's forte.

His life was beautiful, loud, energetic, crazy and harsh but it was his, his own life. it wasn't his brothers or sisters lives, it was his. every move he made wasn't decided by others, every feeling was valid in his term and his love was bursting so much it felt like he was floating above a kingdom made of glass. love is something he hid, hid from everyone apart from the cracked mirror in his room he spoke to when the nightmares got loud or if he lost control of himself in missions that spread more guts than butter on bread.

He can feel a pull and he knows it Klaus, or he think it may be him trying to tie his soul with another, but he tries to ignore that warmth that is brighter than God's light and he stops, stops dead in his tracks and almost goes to apologise to those behind him until he feels the shiver ride up his back, his chest is warm like hands are pressing against him pushing him backwards and he pushes the feeling away, and runs, runs and runs until he finds himself outside of the academy. He stares and stares then leaves when he hears the loud laughter that is followed by the sounds of cheering.

He'd love to laugh again, love to get that smile back on his face and dance to awful music, sway to the beat with a drink in his hands and a buzz that is alcohol, they'd all dance upon the table, each of them are absolutely horrendous at dancing and that's what makes it so fun, fun just to be young, bad karaoke followed by too much drinking, dancing and the Chinese orders that come flooding in the doors curtesy of Allison.

Family is strongest when they are all weak, hands touching close and words of comfort is all they relive on and to touch again would be a gift to him but no, he knows his mind is rushing to him, the sicking thoughts to hold everyone close to his heart is the devil in disguise laughing at him because he's dead, he's dead, he's dead, dead, dead.

Until he connect himself to Klaus.

Until Five sent them back.

He was alive, alive, alive.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben sat all day alone in his room, maybe a few visits from Five, Klaus and Allison but none of them stayed long, Klaus tried to but Ben just whacked him away as he found his old diary he kept when he was a child, his mind regretting everything he wrote down, he always was innocent yet deadly as a child, Ben has to remind himself that his innocence should be gone by now, it's fallen through the gaps of his fingers and into the mouth of the beast below.

He sat cosily against his wall as he continues to read his diary, thankful that no one cleaned his room out when he died, half way through his reading he starts to realise that the world is cruel yet beautiful, beautiful when it shines down the brightest light when smiles are held with pure joy and cruel when death causes you to lose the ones that are loved but he must stop being a child, his death was the end and time travel was the beginning of the end, death binds anew when awoken.

Then goes into thinking and remembering that when he was a child he was sick of following rules when he didn't ask to be born, didn't ask to undergo all this pain, suffering and agony and yet he knows he has to continue to smile through tears, even in the night when there isn't anyone to hold him as he wants to bleed himself to remind him that he is alive and not a soul with a hollowed bloody body and that if he was to die once again that he will live on in memories and hauntings, each of his smiles that he shows the mirror hurts but tells himself that its the way he has to deal with the sensation of being alive, and how he knows death like the back of his hand and knows agony in each step he took, his happiness is a dream away and a lifetime ago, he hopes he can find it again.

The day goes by slowly yet quickly with each time his door opens to a new face, a new cup of tea and dinner that Allison had kindly made and brought him, she still stares too long, but he doesn't mind as much, she's just trying to remind herself that he is real.

Nightfall happens before he knows it, the day wasted by his book and by the loudness of his family either arguing, shouting at Klaus for something or training Vanya, Allison knocks at his door and invites him up to the roof she always invites him up to the roof when the night is calm and, he always goes, he lets his diary fall to the ground and go with her.

When he sits on they cold tiles he tries to understand what he truly feels when he looks up into that beautiful sky to stare at the stars that hold the wishes of the forgotten but he knows that's not true because stars are nothing but gas, nothing but dead things like he once was but he can find a hidden comfort in this all knowing that Five was the reason he can breathe in that cold wind that passes him and Allison by and he wants to tell her that he believes that everything has a soul and a wish but he isn't a child anymore and Allison would think its a joke, she leaves just after midnight and he follows not long after, saying his goodnights to everyone, leaving quickly before Klaus offers him to have a sleepover in his room.

He lays in his bed with his back to his door and his light shining up the room, he's trying to find that belief, yet he doesn't know what he is searching for, doesn't know what his belief is but he wants to find the answer that will set him in a place of peace that isn't death, that isn't the walkways between the life and death, that isn't eternal peace beyond the walls that God had built and he starts to fall asleep to the sound of Vanya playing her violin, vaguely hearing Five and Diego causing a riot at her for playing that but its drowned out by his fear that starts his dream immediately with the beasts in his stomach starting to climb their way out of him, holding his heart too tightly, wrapping themselves around his ribcage, trying to work their way underneath his veins, poisoning him with their venomous words that he wishes didn't sound so good, the beasts taunt him, paint him, cause him pleasure and disgust, his dreams end with him screaming as they claw at his jaw, ripping the skin to unleash themselves yet they never kill him.

Everyone blames his death on the beasts inside him when it was never them.

He wakes to a quiet house, his light on and his stomach laying dormant, no words from his beasts as he wakes in sweat, a minute of breathing and soft touches to his stomach to push back that sick feeling before he gets up and heads to switch the light off, 

He tells himself that he has to keep himself sane when he shuts the light off, he finds himself back in his bed, covers shoved to the side, he feels his wall to try to calm his racing heart, finding an odd comfort in it but warmth is what he desires, he knows that no love follows him the dark when he sleeps alone against the wall, shivering as he wants to feel a slither of love, he knows it sounds selfish of him to think of just to feel lips against his but instead all he can feel is the beasts below start to waken, they bump against the slit in his stomach.

Sleeping and dreaming is out of the question, he tries to fight against the tiredness he holds.

Although he can't deny that sometimes his dreams are a mix between his own and the beasts, the joyfulness is mixed with the darkness that creeps into his mind and he finds himself laughing as he dreams of the feeling of ripping those who had wronged him once before in a timeline where he didn't reach eighteen and here he is in his adulthood laughing like a child who had been given a lollipop after doing well at the doctors, a purple sky is filled with diamonds, a glass citadel is in the middle of his dream and its covered in tentacles, he finds himself drawn to it.

The beasts howl at him before he reaches it and shadows drown him out as he falls and falls into that pit of whispers, whispers of beasts, whispers of mad men who have lost the wars in their own minds, whispers of women who have had their minds caved in by the hands of omens and he feels himself slipping so much further than he has before, screams cut his throat but no one can hear him, locked away in a room away from everyone, a broken house carved by a man who hated loved, his body hit the ground as a knife was plunged into his throat and Diego laughed with venom.

They fed him to Ben who never mentioned it again, no-one did and it's staying that way.

His mind comes to conscious as he realises that he's been screaming, his fingernails digging into the skin above his ear, his eyes dry and red with tears, his cheeks puffy, his heart racing and his body shaking, his mind stops for a second as his screaming isn't heard by anyone, he begs why, why no one is coming to him, he needs.. he needs... 

His eyes find the clock, it hits 2:30am and he stops screaming, his eyes baring into the badly wallpapered wall that he and Luther did years ago, its still fresh on the wall and his eyes burn, he can't cry, he won't let himself be weak again, his hands finds his chest and he squeezes his chest to feel the burn of his fingers against him, the agonizing thought to tare his heart away and to eat himself alive is making the beasts shake beneath him, words of warning and praise hits his ears, their words are powerful but so is he as he slams his head against his bed frame, pain hits him hard, a speckle of blood hits his cheek and black spots prick at his eyes, a vaguely familiar figure and voice pops into vision.

Klaus is panicking, badly as he tries to scream out for Ben who looks past him, Klaus checks behind him quickly but nothing is there, Ben is still shaking his head as he tries to stand but fails as Klaus pulls him down softly, whispering things that goes past Ben's ears, a muffle sound is all he can hear, Ben can hear the beast is talking to him and all he can do is listen as he sways side to side gently, the feeling to smash his head to pieces is too loud, the beasts are too loud as they roar for Klaus, roar for him to touch them to touch Ben, Ben hisses in pain as a hand touches the side of his head and he's being brought down to his side, a soft pillow is underneath him and a hand is on his head again whispering words softly that he can't understand.

Warmth overflows him as Klaus lays next to him, a hand too close to the slit in his stomach where the beasts lie, tentacles pushing against him but never being freed and Klaus is close to letting them free, he stops when Ben whines and tries to push himself away, Ben feels a warm breath on his neck that calms him and passes out from the pain in his head.

Klaus finally breathes calmly when he feels Ben go slack in his arms, his breathing calm and soft as he sleeps and Klaus puts his hand back on his stomach where the slit is begging to be opened but he doesn't do it for Ben's sake, he can't fathom the idea of waking the man sleeping in his arms after watching him slam his head against the bed, a bruise along with dry blood is forming at Ben's side of head and he feels guilty for watching Ben go through inner torment before helping him, he'll clean Ben in the morning, truth be told on why he never helped Ben at first was that he was afraid of scaring Ben and causing him to open his stomach to the room, a stupid fear but a reasonable fear after he once watched Ben chew through armed men like they were nothing, entrails of the men were everywhere.

He reminds himself to forget the image of Ben eating someone alive.

He knew ( _hoped_ ) it wasn't Ben in control but to see your brother eat into someone so innocent it haunts you, haunts you to the end of the world that wasn't caused by Vanya this time but he can't deny that he was happy when she destroyed the Moon because he would never of gotten Ben back alive and stable, he'll never forget the moment when everyone finally saw Ben, never forget that smile and laugh Ben did when he hugged everyone, the tears in his eyes and that sweet smile on his face when he saw Klaus was an image burned into his mind for the rest of his life.

Holding tight to Ben he was, the moonlight was trying to sneak it's way through the cracks in the blinds but it left them alone, left Klaus alone in thoughts as his brother slept through whatever it was he was hopefully dreaming about and Klaus soothed him even though he goes unheard, hands rubbing against him, gentle kisses to the top of head and a grip so tight nobody was going to tare them apart again, he wouldn't allow it, he can't allow it again, not after seeing him dead, dead on the ground and blood soaking the Earth with it.

Ben was brand new in life, maybe not a child but he did forget to breathe at times, breathing ragged, forgot to eat and to dance when the music was loud and Klaus was going to help him, help him remember the joys of the world once again, he had a second chance and Klaus was going to be the one in it, a smile was on his face as he hugged into Ben once again before closing his eyes for sleep, thankfully the ghosts kept quiet tonight, he hopes they sensed how much Ben meant to him, he'd never say out loud of course but moments alone with him was what he craved and the few 'different than normal' dreams kept him up and running even if he felt horrible after it.

Ben's smile could easily fix they thoughts, sweet Ben who could easily rip you apart if you dare test him wasn't just a gift sent straight from God but a walking wet dream at the best of times, and along with they tentacles that came with him, two for one deal but sometimes he does wonder if Ben knows where his tentacles came from, he'll ask in the morning if he can remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so to clear things up if anyone reads these..  
> 1\. Non-linear story now, just segments of Ben/Klaus learning to love each other.  
> 2\. No longer underage, they are adults in this.  
> 3\. Maybe some sub-plot that ravels around Ben's tentacles origins  
> 4\. Spelling mistakes :)  
> 5\. May go into M/E rating if I'm brave enough to write that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter while I try to get myself out of writers block.

time is a horrible thing, it takes so much from people who don't deserve the pain and it gives so much to the ones that cause the pain. It's monster beneath the foundations of what make the universe the way it is and it's a killer to think about how everything that is done on the Earth is based around time, time is a centre peace of love and time is a masterpiece at death so when Ben was stolen from the world it was a massacre that Klaus had went on, not within the city but within himself with all those drugs and drink he had taken to ease the pain of losing the one he needed. A child torn from another child is a curse that none can break.

Throughout Klaus's childhood he had to live with the fact that Ben was gone, even though he was here he truly wasn't. He was an echo of a boy who had lived great and in fear at such a young age, going in and out of building's with enthusiasm only to come out covered in blood and grief, a seven year old murderer who only wanted to play on the swings whenever they passed the park and the seventeen year old who died by the hands of their Father, a blood bath between both of them. A body given to the demons behind dimensions that weren't ever to be real to the humanity that lived in the city, the boy who lived both lives as Man and Monster.

In adulthood Klaus became nothing more than a man addicted to the thought of pain being removed from him, too become a man who lived high in the sky that had no problems down on Earth, too be the one that no one would miss even in Life and Death but Death would only cause more problem within their family, Ben was the only one to die as they had found out that Five came back from the end of the world and it broke Klaus, Klaus only wanted Ben to have someone to go into the light with but none of that happened as the world around them was bound to die.

The adventures that he and Ben had went on was truthfully the best time he had ever had in his life once he came to the realisation that Ben wasn't going anywhere and that Ben was indeed truly gone, there was no spell to bring back the dead, a resurrection isn't possible event though Klaus refused to believe that, refused to believe that he couldn't do anything when his power was Death, all things dead was what he could do and he wanted to believe that he could bring them all back, to put his hand against the ground and beg within him to bring back, too bring back the one he lost but nights went on and on when nothing was happening and Ben had to call it quits when Klaus would scream at nothing but the air.

It became a ritual to head out into the garden to stare at the statue, the statue that Ben hated but secretly was touched by his Fathers movement to realise that he was dead, even in his Fathers eyes a loss life is one that should be guided by the light that was God's calling and when Ben died he was afraid, afraid of the light as it showed him a life in the void where all souls would be free, free from being latched on to one who showed more love than family, showed more love than being friends but he latched onto Klaus who was at first terrified to see Ben but grew and grew over the years, it was a hurtful life and process but Ben stayed, he wanted too and so did the beasts.

There was once a dream of a normal death that Ben had, dreamed late into the night of dying old and grey or even dying in his sleep as he was surrounded by the ones that he had loved but instead he died by the hands of the one he once called brother, a mission gone wrong as Ben allowed the beasts to take over when the room got too crowded for Allison whose voice could only reach so much, Klaus was away talking to some ghost who was genuinely a nice person, Diego was in another room slicing people up with his knives, Five was teleporting around trying his best to get civilians out the way of the bloody massacre that Ben ( ** _notben_** ) went on and Luther was the only one in the room with him.

As time went on Ben enjoyed the feeling of floating around in his own mind, being locked away behind the Eldritch incantations of their own voices telling him sweet things and saw that no harm came too him, it was a peaceful opposition that both parties enjoyed and agreed on, behind closed doors no one knew, Luther was scared, he was terrified at Ben's power and had no idea how to deal with an Eldritch version of his own brother and had remembered the one thing that his Father had said too him, Ben was becoming too erratic, too unstable as he tried to make his way out the room and into the room where the civilian's had been kept and whenever Luther tried to speak to him all he got was nothing, a few grunts and hisses as he tried to lash out at him and Luther knew what he had too do.

_Put him down_

And that is what Luther did in a bloody room filled with entrails at 9:56am on wet and windy Tuesday morning, Luther did what nobody else could, he killed his brother.

Ben was furious in death, furious at the remembrance of the betrayal that Luther did in the family name, too be killed by someone you loved in a way that only added salt too the wound and Ben remembers, The Eldritch remembers the feeling of _Their ~~ **(**~~ ** ~~SON)~~ **Friend _being struck down with a blow that leaves _Them Both_ dizzy and confused to then only feel pain, so much pain as _Their_ head is bashed against the floor, once, twice, thrice and then a fourth until darkness is clouding _Their_ vision and _They_ feel _Their_ ~~ ** _SON_**~~ drift away from them and it's silent, too silent as _They_ came to a human understanding that _They_ had full control of the body and _They_ ** _HOWLED_** as Ben's heartbeat came to a stop and one last breath was took, They died along with him, _They_ wanted nothing to do with the body if Ben wasn't the one to share with them.

Luther felt nothing as he watched as Ben took his last breath, eyes open wide with fear that drained as his body stilled against the bloody floor, blood pooling at his head where Luther had bashed. It was a horrible sight and Luther was the one to make it happen, regret sat inside his stomach as he fell back against his own heel, his mind going into overdrive as he took the sight in, the sight he cause and he screamed, arms wide as he tried to shake Ben awake, tried to take back what he had did but when Ben stayed still in his death, Luther had to make a plan up, had too innocent for Father, Father would be proud of him, proud for putting down a monster, a monster who was his brother and a child, a teenager who wanted too go home and read a book so he did what he could and blamed it on the Eldritch, blamed it on them becoming too powerful for his body to handle.

Klaus wasn't an idiot.

Klaus had Ben tell him the truth, it was at the peak of his death that Ben had came to Klaus screaming in anger that was mixed with the Eldritch and Klaus said nothing as he allowed Them to take out Their anger on anything and everything, for a long while Ben wasn't a nice ghost, he was nice to Klaus of course but too the world around him he'd take any chance he could too harm someone, too pulling the rug from underneath Allison as she walked down the stairs, too tipping the fridge over whenever Diego looked in it too grab something to eat, too trying everything he can to get his siblings to die.

Then peace came to him when Luther was sent away to the moon, peace that was in the form of the bright light and it was beautiful to be back to the way he was, too find peace within the both of Them.

It was years after that Vanya had decided to blow up the moon and destroy the world due to her uncontrollable powers that held more than what they all knew, Ben hid his feelings of bliss when he thought his family was going to finally die together and that they would all be together but instead Five had the idea of using his powers beyond what he could do to bring them back in time to the moment when they were all together too let Vanya be free from the pills, too be freed from the ordinary that Allison had been made to rumour her when they were children, a slit throat was the answer in return for Allison's doing and Ben knew that Allison would forgive Vanya in a heart beat as sisters are better together than apart.

Ben didn't expect to come back alive when time was undone.

It was heart-breaking, it was painful, it was agony and it was fantastic.

Too breathe the air that was filled with pollution, too feel the dirt beneath his hands, too feel the softness of everyone's skin as they all hugged, apart from Five who teleported out immediately but Ben was sure to get him into a hug one day. It was a dream that became a reality and it was something he would always hold close to him, a deep thank you too Five until he is too die again, it goes to show that time could be beaten by time.

It was deep memory that he refuses to speak on too this day, his life is back and that is all that matters. There is no more agony, pain and misery now as the world around them made sure to give them the life they've never had, even into adulthood they never got a chance to be the way they wanted too.

It was **_Them_ **reborn.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's ignore the five year break.
> 
> Shit's been happening, I'm sorry.

There was something different about the love that Klaus had felt. Something forgein yet something so close to his heart, it was terrifying but not with fear but with memory as he looked around the house, looking into his siblings rooms, seeing family photos hanging up on the walls, photos in the shitty old photo frames that haven’t been dusted in years. 

It was home.

It was a feeling of nostalgia, it was a feeling of lost and a feeling of love that wrapped him up in ribbons so soft he could feel the soft skin of the Devil clawing at him for even daring thinking about lips so close to him, it was indulging to be wrapped in silk that wasn’t of his own doing, memories hitting him too much to remember the horrid taste of vomit in his throat as he kneels over the toilet to throw up the blood of his sins.

“ _ It’s your own fault _ ”

That stupid voice in his head rings in and out constantly as he tries to break the mirrors that can’t be broken, there is a bond so unbreakable in the house that even if they sink down into the deepest icy caves of the Devil’s throne-world, they would never stop holding each other.

“ _ It hurts, doesn’t it _ ”

It hurts more than the cuts he brought upon himself in the darkest nights, shadows mock him with a pitiful laughter, the mirrors show the truth within himself that he keeps locked behind a dancing court inside his mind that melts when the fires of lust become too real for him to comprehend what is reality and what is a lie.

“ _ Is it worth it _ ”   


Is what is worth it? Is it worth loving someone if it hurts so much to look at them, too remember the pain of what had happened even before time had basically been rewritten to give them all a chance again, it was a miracle and it was a burden, yet he had to give his all, had to give his thanks and give his life to Five. The man who had rewritten time.

“ _ Why do I hurt when I love _ ”

Because it’s real, love hurts so much when you desire that one person to be in your arms every morning and night, too feel their lips against yours when spirits are high, music is loud and when nothing else in the world matters, to feel the passion and heat in the moments of love that ends in a paradise, that is love when it is at its best and that is what Klaus feels.

Feels it all the time when he hears Ben laugh, sees him smile, dance and drink to music that isn’t Five’s favourite but everyone knows it's a guilty pleasure, it’s adorable.

Klaus embraces the pain of his love and moves on with the scars underneath his skin, it is a peace within him, and yet he will not say it to the mirror that stares him down in the night with cracks so real, he can feel time slip between them.

Ben, on the other hand, is afraid of the nightmares that plague his mind like a memory that hasn’t happened yet, plague him like time has begun to unwind itself in ways that the foundation of reality will tumble down the dark void, a timestream unbalanced by the dead coming back, it is a nightmare within himself to live with those of another dimension and now with time beginning to realise what Five had done.

Ben’s own past is colliding with his future, yet only he can dream it, dream of himself dying again and again, dream of himself being brought back again and again, the deepest and most darkest of his dreams is when he becomes the monster that the Eldritch want him to be, be the end of his family, blood-soaked soul encased in the glass cathedral that the Eldritch birth through their own will to live inside a man who only wants to be happy.

It is a horror story within his mind when the lights go out and the Eldritch come out, slithering into the corners of his mind where the doors are locked behind his own commitment to never relive again, the death of himself, the pain of betrayal, the songs of sorrow and the urge to kill the man that had killed him. 

He refuses to speak about it, refuses to become the sharp witted monster who had haunted the innocent in his own anger of his death. He isn’t dead anymore and he has forgotten that, forgotten what breathing had felt like, forgotten what his heart felt like.

“Anyone there…? Helllllloooooo….”

Klaus’s piercing voice had broken Ben’s trance, annoyed Ben rolled his eyes and looked up to Klaus who was forcefully grinning too himself.

“What do you want?”

Klaus mocks the eyeroll and sits beside Ben, dramatically huffing as he lays himself down onto his back. 

“You’ve been out here for years, maybe a little dramatic but still”

Ben thinks, thinks longer than needed as Klaus begins to poke at his thigh, mumbling about something that he can’t comprehend.

“Just forgot how beautiful the moonlight was, again”

It’s a lie and a truth, and Klaus can’t see through it.

Klaus stays quiet, for the first time in a long time, his eyes seem drawn back for a moment and a sad smile on his face as he sits up, scooting himself closer to Ben, he goes too speak but can’t think of anything to say and instead just gives another smile to Ben.

“Sometimes, I feel like its a dream”

Ben says after the silence that had fallen upon them.

“The moonlight?”

Ben gives a small laugh.

“No, no, I mean being alive, it feels like its a dream”

Klaus, again, stays quiet as he lays himself back down. Words rushing through his mind and yet he can’t get them out, can’t say anything without either messing it up or coming across sarcastic in a serious moment, well truth be told nothing is serious for him but when Death is mentioned then he drops the act.

Ben follows close to Klaus’s action and finds himself laying his head against Klaus’s chest, the heartbeat is enough to make him remember that this isn’t a dream, the soft skin of Klaus’s palm against his upper arm makes him remember that this isn’t a dream and the wind that dances around them makes him remember that this isn’t a dream.

It’s reality, a reality so real that he can feel the music that their siblings are playing rumble beneath them, he can smell the grass that gets cut in the morning, he can smell the shitty alcohol that Diego drinks, he can be alive in a world that missed him so much. Can feel the vibrations of the Eldritch against his heart as they sing to him a song of old, a song of new and a song of sorrow.

“I’m alive.”

It’s a whisper in Ben’s ears and it’s a scream in Klaus’s ears.

“You're alive.”

It’s a whisper in Klaus’s ear and it’s a scream in Ben’s ears.

Then there is silence as the moonlight covers them in a warmth that isn’t possible as Ben dares himself to cosy himself closer to Klaus, who says nothing in disgust, he stays silent and still as he rubs his hand up and down Ben’s upper arm, it is peace in a time so dark that a bond forms in the hearts of men who are afraid of love. 

By the early morning they leave each other's hold, the sun rising, the air is crisp and it’s bloody freezing. They speak nothing as they leave for their rooms, both of them glad that the shadows can’t haunt them and that the mirror in Klaus’s room can’t seep time. It is a horrendous way to live, living in fear is what makes the monsters come alive, tick-tock goes the clocks, come out and play they say, teeth so sharp they break a knife, claws so sharp they break you apart. 

The bed creaks as Ben lays himself down, his window is wide and his room is bright with the sun that shines down the holy light of freedom, he is genuinely tired but the singing in his head is bursting him inside, his blood flowing to the soft voices of The Eldritch who sing in pain of their home ravaged by deities that Ben had no idea existed. 

They stop singing and They begin to speak.

“ **_Do you feel it_ ** **?** **_The pull towards the void_ ** _ ” _

Ben does, he always does, feels the urge to follow into the blinding dark of the homeworld of The Eldritch, his mind is a mess of so many emotions, so many thoughts, so many troubles. He is an open book for all of those who want to read him.

“Yeah, yeah I feel it”

Silence falls when the sun disappears behind the clouds that will bring a rainfall so heavy that the Earth will drown itself, drown itself out of the sky and fall into the endless pit of the universe, the darkest pit where time cannot even touch.

“ **_Then why do you fight it?”_ **

He doesn’t know why, and he’s lying to himself why, lies is what made him the way he is, lie about the pain of the Eldritch, lies about the nightmares that haunt him, lies about the shadow that follows him, lies about the whispers of the mirrors and lies about the love he has for Klaus.

“Because I can’t lose myself again”

They stay silent, there is a melody within his head and then it’s gone, a gentle drift off into another silence as he can feel Them slither within him, they move between his ribs, they dance around his heart and they lay flat against his stomach, it is a motion that Ben has gotten used to in the years, almost muscle memory at this point.

“ **_You have me, I will not let you be lost”_ **

Ben catches the “Me and I” when They..? spoke, a voice gentle and human like is something that always catches him off guard when They.. want to be kind, want to be sympathetic. A monster so horrific even has standards of human emotions.

“Then all I can say is thank you”

Ben shifts himself onto his side and closes his eyes, he can feel The Eldritch slither away from him and back into the portal that they came from, a whisper trails in his mind behind a music box, it's a whisper that brings him to a moment.

It's peace.


End file.
